Relational trauma’s origin
Its often a mystery why a current healthy relationship suddenly plunges into a chaotic nightmare. No dire moment to explain, the streeses seem to emerge from out of the blue. What might account for this sudden change from loving to hostility, open to withdrawn, supportive to sabotge. After all the current triggers have been excluded, maybe a flashaback from the past explains. I have found the most elusive ‘unfixed’ parts arise from far in the past, yes, my earliest relationship — privation — a form of absence often overlooked. It has taken years to interrogate, but once locataed, what a relief to overcome.
I explore my eluisve privation in this short poem
a nursery poem
I can not fix you
you can not fix me
still broken, we’re beholden
yesterday we plunged each other
unwillingly into inanity
we pleated voided spaces*
sane beings unfolding insanity
today we dive again
deeper in hindsight
doubly perceptive
we look out for each other
receptive, responsive to unpleat
to avoid more voided spaces
we navigate treacherous poetic pleats
sensations once fixed now dare to flow
trickles between deplete and repleat
emerge, barely perceptible rhythms
as our mutual gaze mirrors visual echoes
today’s plunge we behold
each other in awe
as we repleat sanity
- *privation
June 2021
